Although the majority of species of animals opt for a method of childrearing that can best be described as express-lane parenting—you do your biological duty; you teach your offspring a few basic survival skills and then you exit stage left—we human beings choose instead to do our child-rearing in the slow lane. In fact, most of us end up devoting the better part of 18 years to equipping our offspring with the skills needed to survive—and, with any luck, even thrive—after they leave the nest.
During the early months of our children’s lives, the bulk of our efforts are devoted to attending to their basic physical needs, but as they become a bit more self-sufficient, we’re able to switch gears and focus an increasing amount of our parenting energies on teaching them how to become fully contributing members of society. That is the toughest part of parenthood, of course: the unpredictable and sometimes messy part that can frustrate you to no end and leave you wondering whether you’ve actually got the stamina required to see this marathon through to the end. Not only can you find yourself doing battle with societal norms that may not exactly mesh with your own personal morals and values, but you also may find yourself engaged in a battle of wills with a child whose temperament gives a whole new meaning to the word stubborn.
Here are some tips on what you can do to increase your odds of ending up with a happy, well-adjusted child:
Accept your child for who she is—not who you wish she was.
Ensure that your parenting style is bringing out the best, rather than the worst, in your child.
Decide upfront what types of morals and values matter most to you and how you’re going to go about transmitting those standards to your child.
Do what you can to tilt the self-esteem roulette wheel in your child’s favor.
